Script #1 (Role of Michelle)
Reader: Michelle, you need to calm down.
Michelle: I just don’t understand why Rita said that I am paranoid. I mean, I don’t think that I am paranoid. Do you think I am paranoid? What is paranoid anyway? Does it mean that I think people are following me? That they are listening to my conversations? That they are listening to my conversations? That they are checking on my emails? I mean what does she mean that I am paranoid? Do you think that she actually said that first or is there somebody else that started the whole paranoid thing? What do you think?
Reader: Well I…
Michelle: You do think that I’m paranoid don’t you. I can see it in your eyes. When have I ever been paranoid? I am a very confident person. I never need affirmation from anybody, do I?
Reader: Michelle, I think caring what other people think of you is a characteristic of being paranoid.
Script #2 (Role of Ashley)
Ashley: I’m talking about our will. Let’s see, your tools go to your brother.
Reader: No, no, no, they’ll…
Ashley: I thought you weren’t participating.
Reader: I’m not participating. Those are my tools and I want to be buried with them.
Ashley: Oh, by the way, you’re not being buried. I’m having you cremated.
Reader: You are not going to put me in some stupid urn up on the bookcase.
Ashley: Oh no, I wouldn’t do that. I’m just going to put you in a mayonnaise jar behind the electric drill.
Script #3 (Role of Linda)
Linda: You have never tried to understand me. Every time I try to get close to you, you pull away from me.
Reader: You just don’t understand.
Linda: No, I do understand. You are completely afraid of commitment. I have been wasting my time for way too long.
Reader: I don’t feel like what we have is a waste.
Linda: That’s because you are calling all the shots. You have given me nothing. I don’t even know where we stand.
Reader: That is not true.
Linda: Well things are changing today. I am done. I have given you every opportunity to make a commitment and its just not going to happen. I am leaving and you might as well not try to stop me, once I make a commitment I stick with it and I commit to not being with you.
Script #1 (Role of Beth)
Beth: Hey Sheila, I just found a very masculine looking cell phone at the coffee shop.
Reader: Really, What are you going to do with it?
Beth: Well, I think this is fate. I mean what if this guy turns out to be Mr. Right?
Reader: You have been watching too much reality TV. What if he turns out to be an ax murderer?
Beth: He can’t be, he has Barney’s on his speed dial.
Reader: Who the heck is Barney’s?
Beth: You know Barney’s, only the best shopping experience ever!
Reader: What pretentious person would have a department store on their speed dial?
Beth: His new girlfriend!!
Script #2 (Role of Alyssa)
Alyssa: How can you say that? You haven’t even met my father.
Reader: I know. I just have a father phobia.
Alyssa: But you have to meet him. He’ll never let me go out with you if you can’t even face him. I mean he looks a little rough when you first see him but once you get to know him…
Reader: What do you mean rough?
Alyssa: Did I say rough? Oh, well that just kind of slipped out. Not really rough. He’s just a little one the edge most of the time.
Reader: On the edge of what? Insanity? Ok, that’s it. I’ll see you later. I just don’t think this is going to work out.
Alyssa: Can anybody say…Old Maid?!
Script #3 (Role of Heather)
Heather: Do you always have to be so cheesy?
Reader: What do you mean?
Heather: You are always coming on to girls telling them how hot and how funny they are.
Reader: No I don’t
Heather: Yes you do! It is so nauseating. Do you honestly think anyone believes a word you say when you say it to everyone? How desperate do you think these girls are?
Reader: I do think you are beautiful.
Heather: Really? Oh, you are so sweet…
Script #1 (Role of Megan)
Megan: Welcome to A and E jeans. Can I help you today?
Bob: No thank you, I am just looking.
Megan: Well just to let you know, we have a great sale on all of our denim. It is 25% off all store purchases today only.
Bob: Thank you. I am just browsing today. I don’t really need jeans.
Megan: Well if it’s shirts you’re looking for, we have a whole rack at the back of the store with clearance prices starting at $9.99. Feel free to check them out.
Bob: Thank you, I will be fine. I really would like to be left alone to look.
Megan: Of course, but while you’re shopping alone, remember that you get 15% off your entire purchase if you sign up for a store credit card.
Bob: I’m out of here.
Script # 2 (Role of Katie)
Katie: Dad, everybody is going to the party. I’ll be the laughing stock of the school if I don’t go.
Dad: You can go if your older brother can go with you.
Katie: Are you serious?
Dad: Yes I am.
Katie: You actually want me to show up at MY friend’s birthday party with my brother?
Dad: That’s what I said.
Katie: Well you might as well start selling tickets to the “loser show” because I will be the star!
Dad: You know if I did sell tickets I could buy that new set of golf clubs.
Script #1 (Role of Cindy)
Cindy: I can’t believe you are leaving me here after mom said you had to stay home.
Reader: I am not staying home when the biggest party of the year is happening down the street just because of my bratty little sister.
Cindy: I’m not supposed to be left alone. You heard what mom said. You’re gonna be in so much trouble.
Reader: You aren’t going to be left alone. I asked Mrs. Farley to come sit with you.
Cindy: Old woman Farley, she’s ancient! She can’t watch me. She falls asleep every time she sits down. Mom’s gonna kill you.
Reader: I’m going and that’s that. I hear somebody pulling in. It must be Old Wo…I mean Mrs. Farley. It’s time for me to go. Get the door while I gem my coat.
Cindy: Whatever your majesty. (opens door) Uh oh…hey mom, its good to see you back home. Guess where Julie’s going.
Script #2 (Role of Lyndon)
Lyndon: Woooooo!! Party!
Reader: What happened to you?
Lyndon: (very excited and speedy) I tried this awesome drink called Demon. Actually, I tried seven of them. And I feel great! Except for my feet, which I can’t feel at all.
Reader: Red Demon? Do you know what’s in that?
Lyndon: (high energy) Carbonated water, sucrose, glucose, sodium citrate, taurine, glucuronolactone, caffeine, calcium-pantothenate, pyridoxine, yellow dye number seven, red dye number thirty-six… Oh, and vitamin C, so it’s good for you.
Script #3 (Role of Lilly)
Lilly: Miley, what’s wrong?
Reader: (Holds up hand and can’t speak)
Lilly: Oh, no, you got a “D” in algebra? A “D” in science? You saw your yearbook picture?
Reader: No, I’m listening to…what’s wrong with my yearbook picture?
Lilly: Nothing, it’s a sweet smile. It says, “I’m friendly and I like spinach.”
Script #1 (Role of Devin)
Devin: I miss mommy so much.
Reader: I know honey, I miss her too.
Devin: Who’s going to make my breakfast and tuck me in at night?
Reader: I’m going to do my best, I promise.
Devin: But it’s not the same, you’re not her.
Reader: I know. But I love you just as much.
Devin: I love you too Daddy.
Script #2 (Role of Emily)
Emily: I think you should be able to eat Ice Cream for dinner.
Dad: Honey, Ice Cream doesn’t have what you need to grow big and strong.
Emily: Well it is made with milk isn’t it?
Dad: Yes but they have added a lot of sugar to make it Ice Cream.
Emily: Make up your mind dad. One minute you’re asking me to be sweet and then you don’t want me to eat sugar. MEN!
Script #3 (Role of Katelyn)
Katelyn: Dad, I want an allowance.
Dad: Sweetie, you are too young to get an allowance.
Katelyn: But dad, Tommy gets an allowance. What makes him so special?
Dad: Your brother is older, and he cleans his room. That is why he gets an allowance.
Katelyn: Well I am sweeter and much cuter, that should be good for something. I’ll let you think about it and then get back to you.
She has a high fever. You know what it’s like to wait it out When time counts, Children’s Advil relieves her fever fast. Faster than Children’s Tylenol, and lasts up to eight hours. Children’s Advil Fights Fevers Faster.
Some insurance companies seem to think that 15 minutes is all it takes. But not Allstate. We’ll take as long as you want to help you make sure your insurance coverage is right. You deserve more than just 15 minutes of fame. Are you in Good Hands?
Today, parents have a lot of hard choices, pay the phone bill or pay the doctor. Fill the fridge or fill a prescription. But there’s a choice that can make life easier—calling 1-877-KIDS NOW. That’s because every state now offers low cost and free health coverage for kids. Even working families can get the card for Dr. visits, prescriptions and more. So if your kids aren’t insured, call 1-877-KIDS NOW. Write it down—because you’ve got enough to worry about.
I decided long ago that I am not going to eat my way through every fast food restaurant and pizza joint. I eat healthy. After all, it does catch up with you. Lean Cuisine meals offer a healthy alternative with so many delicious meals that I never get bored. It’s not just lean, it’s cuisine.
I had to go to TJ Maxx. My boyfriend and I just broke up and I needed a little pick me up. So…I found this outfit. Perfect fit, perfect color…he HATES orange. Besides, it was a great deal…over half off. And if I didn’t get it, someone else would have gotten it because it was the only one left! The thought of some stranger walking around in my clothes kind of weirds me out. Plus, I hadn’t done laundry in a month. So I literally had to buy it. And it was orange, my signature color. Thanks TJ Maxx!
Skinny is out. That’s why I use Voluminous Mascara by L’Oreal. For luxurious lashes that are three times fuller. Thin is not in. Fat is where it’s at. Voluminous lashes? Why, yes by L’Oreal. Because…I’m worth it!